Beauty in Sacrifice - Wk 4

Word

Really leaving home and the comforts of the familiar for the first time is really hard.

But it was this situation I found myself in just 6 months ago. I was working a job I was overqualified for and didn’t like just so that I could continue to live in the Chicago-land area and keep my life as I knew it going smoothly. I worked hours I didn’t prefer and gave up time to spend with my wife and daughters because I was committed to being close to home, to my friends, to my mom, to my brothers, and to everything that gave me comfort.

The job I was working wasn’t a ministry job, which had been my previous occupation. I was a worship leader and had stepped out of ministry for a year and a half and was now just a “working stiff” earning a paycheck and getting awesome health insurance working for a major company.

But about a year ago, I felt the Holy Spirit calling me back to ministry, and so I naturally assumed that that ministry meant staying in Chicago-land and being close to family and the creature comforts I so desperately felt like I needed.

So I applied like heck to any and every church in the Chicago-land area that was looking to hire a worship leader. And one church after another said “no thank you” and moved on. I was heartbroken. Why wasn’t it God’s plan for me to be ministering amongst the people and culture that I knew and close to the hometown I loved?

As one door after another closed, I had two options: I could stay working in this job that I didn’t like in order to provide for my family, or I could sacrifice the location I felt so drawn to in order to obey the calling God had placed on my life to serve him in the capacity of leading worship for His people.

So I started applying at other churches in the Midwest, really anywhere in the United States, and lo and behold, a church in Indiana wanted me to come and be their worship pastor. As much as I wanted to stay in the Chicago area, I knew that the Holy Spirit was leading me away from home and had provided this position for me where I would have all my needs taken care of. It just meant laying on the altar all of the comforts of home I had come to cling so tightly to.

As a man it hurt to sacrifice the certainty that goes along with a steady job and home that my family lived in to chase after the direction I felt the Spirit leading me to. There was great sacrifice in laying down certain money, health insurance, retirement, grandparents nearby, aunts and uncles providing free babysitting, etc. All the stuff I relied on to establish me as a man and family provider were there.

But I discovered in the process of obedience, that if I did not sacrifice that which I clung closest to in my body, I could never experience the intimacy of living life by the Spirit.

So I laid home on the altar and took the position. And I’m incredibly grateful that I paid attention to the Spirit’s leading rather than clinging to all the things I knew and made me feel secure. God has done some amazing things in the last 3 months through His Holy Spirit, and I’m glad I laid down my home and even my mother and brothers in order to follow where He was leading.

Meal

Leaving home creates discomfort, and so comfort food is what this is all about. Chocolate brownies are my comfort food. If you are like me and like comfort food and want the world’s best brownies, check out this link http://allrecipes.com/recipe/143667/brookes-best-bombshell-brownies/?internalSource=hub%20recipe&referringContentType=search%20results&clickId=cardslot%201#

Song

A song called “I Give Myself Away” by William McDowell off the album “As We Worship Live” has always spoken to me as a simple prayer to God, asking that we lay ourselves down, regardless of what our desires for ourselves are so that he can use us.

Prayer

God, whatever it is that keeps me tied to anything other than you and your leading, I pray you break immediately. Help me be aware of the comforts in my life that distract me from the holy discomfort that living life by the Spirit sometimes brings.

Time

There’s beauty in sacrificing something that brings you comfort. For one week, give up the thing that gives you the most physical comfort, and when you want that thing, instead find a way in the community you live in to give that thing to someone else in some way.

Beauty in Sacrifice - Wk 3

 

Word

Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

Sacrifice. Ransom. Forfeit. Surrender. Give up. Let go.

The premise of sacrifice is that it is not easy. You have a decision to make, presumably for the betterment of mankind, or society, or a situation.

Yet, sacrifice is not always a grand gesture. In the little things, we make sacrifices every day. Anything you do for another is a little sacrifice.

In history, there are plenty of examples of people sacrificing for others. One that comes to mind is Marie Curie surrendering her health and life to further the study of radiation as a diagnostic tool, something we are benefitting from today.

As I write this, I'm sitting in a hospital waiting for my Mom to come back from having a PET scan done. That's a test to see if her cancer has migrated from the location in which it was found. Here’s a little background on my Mom.  She was born in 1935, during the Great Depression.  Her family was poor; they moved frequently and her dad had a number of sketchy professions over the years, including bootlegger and smuggler. Her parents finished 8th grade and married at 16. She picked cotton, she wore flour sack dresses.  She was the first in her family to finish high school, but college was beyond her reach. She married my dad at age 22, moved a few more times, and raised three daughters, but they always struggled financially. He passed away 14 years ago, just shy of their 45th Anniversary.  Six months later, she fell and broke her leg, resulting in four months in the hospital and three separate surgeries. After that, a heart valve replacement. Then, a stroke followed by a second open heart surgery.  That's when I moved her out of her apartment in Chicago and into a Senior Community close to where we live.  I have taken care of her every day since, through even more health challenges, despite having a full house and full time job.  

Today I've taken the morning off from work to bring her to a hospital that she's never been to for a test she doesn't want to know the results of.  She was stoic right up until they wheeled her away, when she looked back at me with fear in her eyes.  

She has spent more than 80 years being last. As someone who never had much, it makes her uncomfortable to be put first.  She regrets these years that we have foregone doing things that we’d like to do, such as take a vacation, or eat dinner before 8:30pm so that I can make her dinner and get her ready for bed before I go home to my husband, kids and grandkids. She may regret it, but I don’t. One day she won’t be here for me to serve and take care of, and I will know that I have done everything I could for the one who has helped me to find the beauty in sacrifice.

Meal: Whenever we approach the Communion Table, we’re reminded of the ultimate Sacrifice of Jesus - whose body was broken and blood spilled on our behalf, so that we may be whole and blameless in our Father’s eyes. Whatever meal is shared, consider the words of Eugene Peterson in his book, Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places: A Conversation in Spiritual Theology: “Hospitality is the daily practice in keeping sacrifice local and immediate: a meal prepared and served to family and guests is giving up of ourselves for another.” Living in the Chicago area, my favorite sharable dish is pizza. It’s flexible (you can put anything on it) and absolutely intended to be shared.

Music: Legacy - Nichole Nordeman

I want to leave a legacy,
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? 
Did I point to you enough?
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah1COE39ARs

Prayer: Father, you know more about sacrifice than any of us ever will. We thank you for the example you set, and the gift of knowing that nothing given for another is truly lost; instead, it’s multiplied. May our lives be a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you, as our act of true and proper worship. Amen.

Time: Put time on your calendar to serve someone who can’t help themselves. Schedule it or it won’t happen.

Beauty in Sacrifice - Wk 2

WORD

There I was, flying to a friend’s wedding, sobbing.  

10 years earlier, I had recently graduated from college. I was single and had debt up to my eyeballs. A teaching job just wasn’t happening so I decided to move home near family. My sister was pregnant with her third child and I loved the idea of being close.  That June, unexpectedly, the phone rang from a school in Kenya offering me my dream job. Panic hit. There is no way I can move to Africa on my own. I have to raise support. How will I pay my school loans? How could I miss the birth of my niece? I said no.

Two weeks later they called again. But my reasons remained. A month later they called again.  This time I was boarding the plane to a friend’s wedding. I spent the flight making a list of pros and cons.  The pros took a resounding lead. This is when the sobbing started. I was grieving a future I had already grown comfortable with and fearing a new one packed with unknowns. Then I remembered my dad’s advice, “Never miss an opportunity to say ‘yes’ to God.” So, I said yes.

That day was just the beginning of many tearful plane rides including the one I am on now as I write. I have one child asleep beside me and another on my lap. We just said goodbye to grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles again. An unplanned rendezvous in the US was one we’ll cherish but it never gets easier to leave. Each time the thousands of miles across the ocean, back to Indonesia now, are harder because we know what we are leaving. What we’re missing out on. What we’re sacrificing.  

2016 was one of the most challenging years yet as I contracted Dengue Fever, Malaria, Zika, Typhoid fever, and an amoeba.  But I also saw God at work in new ways, despite how frail and weak I was. He taught me that it isn’t about me, but it is about Him and the beauty He brings out of messy situations.  I have seen the smiles of people hearing God’s truth for the first time in their language. I have seen the peace of parents holding their sick child, no longer fearing the evil spirits as they used to. I have seen the joy of people begging for God’s Word in their language and finally having people come to do the hard job.

The sacrifices have been great but the reward has been greater. Yesterday I hugged my sister, both of us sobbing, saying goodbye once again for who knows how long. “See you later” is bitterly difficult, but I now know that sting of pain is a prelude to the beauty God has coming.

It makes me think of Moses’ mother and how she was willing to risk the life of her whole family to save that sweet baby.  Against every motherly instinct she had, she was willing to place her tiny boy in a basket and into a river. The sacrifice was great but she knew her God was greater. She chose to say “yes” to God and bring the beauty that came from Moses’ life.

MEAL:

When I moved to Kenya I fell in love with CHICKEN CURRY!  Try this simple life-changing recipe.  I made it for my family when we were all together over Christmas and even my nephews went back for 2nd helpings!

MUSIC:

Oceans by Hillsong United always challenges and encourages my heart.  “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters WHEREVER you would call me.”

PRAYER:

Loving Father teach us to trust You.  To follow You. To make sacrifices for Your glory. To be brave. To say Yes!  

TIME:

As a wife, mom, teacher, missionary and friend life is full. I’ve been learning to take captive my thoughts (2 Cor. 10:5) .   It is the amazing the time you will free up when you are not worrying about the “what if” and “if only”. Game changer! I learned a lot about this through the book Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George. Join me!

Beauty in Sacrifice - Wk 1

Word:

Joy tells us that we love something.  Sacrifice tells us how much. --Dave Barnes

Sacrifice.  The word alone doesn’t roll in a beautiful way off of our tongues.  It clings to the roofs of our mouths not wanting to be professed or, even worse, experienced. The paradox I’ve experienced in my own walk with the Lord is that there can be a bruised beauty in so much of what we call the Christian life.  Sacrifice is one of those things. The witness of true sacrifice, the complete emptying of self for the good of another, makes me weep at its beauty.

As Jesus clung to life as He hung from the cross we see the perfection of love made manifest in the ultimate sacrifice of the Father.  And yet we know this is not meant to be solely a reminder of the sacrifice that was made for us, but rather a model of which we are called to imitate.  So what does real sacrifice look like?

I have a friend, an incredible witness in my life, who has shown me the unvarnished beauty of sacrificial love. Fran is remarkable.  She is kind, loving, funny, and a mother who has lost a child. For many years she fought, and fought hard, against the drugs and mental illness that ravaged her son’s mind.  She spent sleepless nights praying, days researching, and every minute of everyday loving her son. I was blessed to have her son in my middle and high school ministry programs and he was a wonder of creation.  Bright, funny, compassionate beyond understanding, loving, and a friend to strangers. Every moment I got to spend with him was gift and pure joy. I watched this woman, his mother, my friend, give everything for him.  In the end he wasn’t able to experience life beyond high school, but he experienced enough sacrificial love through his mother in his short life than most experience in 80 years on this earth. What moves me even more, is that what would normally have broken a heart beyond repair, has turned ashes to beauty.  See, Fran hasn’t stopped loving. If anything she is even more convicted of the need for everyone to know Jesus, and His redemptive love. She finds the broken and the wounded and carries them to the Healer; even in her own discomfort she lives sacrificial love. She images Mary to me, the mother of Jesus at the loss of her own son.  

Jesus was a sacrifice that is for us, but His parents, Mary and Joseph, bore that loss too.  Mary, so full of grace, so full of love, wept for her baby boy. Then she gave her life to the service of man, so much like my Fran.  If we are going to truly love, and love deeply, we must be prepared to sacrifice, and not count the cost. In moments when I think of Fran, and in moments when I miss her baby boy, I think of the words of Mother Teresa: “A sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, and must empty ourselves. Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in His love than in your weakness.”

Prayer:

God thank you that you loved me so much that you gave your son for me.  You poured out all your love in the shedding of your son’s blood. Lord pour your love into me, and give me the grace to pour it out for everyone I meet.  Let me pour it out for my family, my friends, my neighbor, but also give me the desire to pour it out for the lost, the lonely, the homeless, the refugee. I’m so weak God.  So often I think only of myself, or of myself first. Give me your heart. Help me to see as you see. I need you Lord. Amen.

Time:

Each day see if you can make two little sacrifices for love.  One for love of God: Sacrifice something you would normally do and spend your time with Him.  One for love of neighbor: Give something up so someone else might have something they need.

Song:

United Pursuit – Seasons Change

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7k5pqBVinA

This song pours the steadfast love of the Father into my heart.

Meal:

Here’s a recipe for some amazing Chicken Piccata.  Invite some friends over, crack open a few bottles of wine, and fill your house with the comforting smell of butter and garlic.  It’s a little salty, a little acidic, and all smoothed out with a little white wine – much like life, right? Serve it with some crusty bread and angel hair pasta for a meal that will make you want to stay around the table all night long.

http://blog.williams-sonoma.com/chicken-piccata-with-artichokes/