Beauty in Struggle - Wk 3

Word

When I first wrote this, it was a saga about my recent struggle in graduate school, hunting for God’s beauty in the stress engulfing me. The whole time I was writing it, though, I kept thinking “This sounds so petty. There are so many people out there with tougher struggles than this. My life is really okay. No one cares.”

And that made me pause.

Because we all have struggles. Big. Small. Life-altering. Life-bothering. Heartache. Heartburn. It’s all a struggle.

I feel like there’s beauty there.

You see, we all have something that we’re struggling with. For me, its insecurity. For others it’s cancer. Some, acceptance. Other times, it’s a stubbed toe.

We can come together through all our individual struggles and create beauty - through encouragement or laughter, wailing or silence, hugs or dancing. We can find ways to reach out others and meet them in their needs.

God didn’t call us to a life of ease, but he did call us to community.

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” - Galatians 6:2

When we come together to listen and understand we are becoming more like Christ. When we work together to overcome our struggles, we are creating pockets of his kingdom to earth.

Don’t you think that’s beautiful?

You see, the beauty of the struggle is how it can build a supportive, understanding, interwoven community. We all have pain, and there is beauty in the pain. But when you’re in the midst of the struggle, you often are blind to this. Our role as fellow Christ-followers is to try to bring a bit of beauty into the lives of the people we care about - to show them the compassion, love, and freedom of Christ. In return, we hope to receive the gift of beauty from others - and to be vulnerable enough to accept it.

When I first entered graduate school, I tried to keep my struggle to myself. It seemed like everyone else could handle it, so why couldn’t I? Slowly, as I opened myself up, I was able to accept reassurance, understanding, and focus. I found I wasn’t completely alone, and that my friends were struggling with similar fears - and now we’re able to conquer them together. This doesn’t completely remove the stress from my life, but it gives me a brighter light as I wade through the darkness.

And what’s more beautiful than light?

Meal

There is no better place to practice community than around the table. While classy dinner parties and fancy restaurants are fun places to do this, it is not required. In fact, when someone is facing a struggle, sometimes they just need a frozen pizza and a listening ear. While the foodie in me wants to present you some sort of fancy recipe, I want to challenge you this week to think of a friend or family member who might be struggling and figure out their favorite meal, or their current craving and share it with them - it can be homemade, eaten out, or ordered in. The important thing is that you show them you care about them, their struggle, and their soul.

Music

“We Are Stronger” - Gungor One Wild Life: Soul

Time

I know, that when I’m feeling the weight of my struggle, I can find beauty in the smallest things: a kind note, a funny GIF, a special dinner, a night with my friends, a hug from my husband. This week, think of someone’s struggle you’re familiar with and attempt to be a bit a beauty for them: send a text, make the call, bring them flowers, write a card - do what you think they would need. We all have our personal struggles, but we all also know others who struggle. I think you’ll find that in an effort to make someone else’s week a bit more beautiful, yours will be too.

Prayer

Lord, you are an almighty creator. We thank you for our struggles for it gives us a way to relate and take care of each other. We know you created us to walk this life together, through the good and the bad. Reveal to me a way I can care for a brother or sister this week and give me the vulnerability to share my own struggle. May we find the beauty in our struggles together. May we find the beauty of together.

Katelyn Butler | Instagram: @katelynacae  

Beauty in the Struggle - Wk 2

Word

Identity Crisis

People talk about mid-life and quarter-life crises of identity, usually filled with flashy new cars, plastic surgery, job changes, or new hair-do’s. But, I’ve been through at least a dozen or so noticeable identity crises in my adult life, and they’ve all come in moments or seasons of struggle.  

It’s in the moments of struggle that we feel frail, and human.  We don’t feel so invincible anymore.  Those facades and masks that we thought would bring meaning, are looking so flimsy right now.  

It’s easy to find identity in a lot of different things:  jobs, positions, marital status, parental status, denomination, volunteer roles, color of grass in our front yards, and on and on.  Our first-world lifestyle makes it easy for us to find identity in anything other than God himself.  And, sometimes those identities we cling to are technically “good” things.  In fact, they’re things that many Christ-followers focus hours and hours of energy on and hold in high regard. Friends, church, marriage, family, and jobs are all good things, but when we are focused on the acceptance and roles within these circles more than on Christ, it becomes a problem.  

It’s easy to do.

But, I’ve found that in moments of struggle, these “good” places I’m clinging to for identity have been stripped away.  Perhaps I’m alone in this.  Perhaps I’m not.  When struggles come, it seems that some sort of false identity is stripped away in the process.  Some struggles have stripped away any man-made confidence in other human beings.  Other struggles have stripped away the authority I had put on my local churches process or viewpoint.  Other struggles have stripped me of the picture of what “they” say my life, or my marriage, or my family should look like.  

The common thread has been that I’ve had some identity crisis that accompanies each season of struggle.

“This breaking of you will be the making of you.”  - Lysa Terkeurst

The phrase identity crisis only tells half of the story, though, because in each struggle I’ve been pointed back to the place where my identity should’ve been all along:  Christ alone.  After all of those “good” things I had put my trust and hope in had been stripped away, each time, I was reminded that my value, my worth, my purpose was all supposed to be in Jesus ALONE all along.  

You know those times when you hear a phrase, and you just know you’ll never forget it?  Bob Goff has a phrase that will stick with me for my entire life:  “Jesus, plus nothing.”  As I look back through all of the seasons of struggle, I can see that they point me back to this concept.  Jesus is my all.  Jesus is my identity.  Jesus is my gauge.  Jesus, plus nothing more.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

-Colossians 3:1-3

Now, my brain starts to hurt if I go down the rabbit hole of if struggles are allowed or initiated, but I like to instead focus on the things that I do know deep in my core.  

• I do know struggles exist in my life, and in others’ lives as well.  I’ve seen them, felt them, and even tasted those salty tears.

• I do know that struggles have bared my soul down to the most basic point.  I’ve felt lonely, betrayed, bewildered, exhausted, and hopeless.  

• I do know that Jesus is my authority.  I look to Him.

So, while I can’t look you in the eye and say that I enjoy the struggle.  In fact, I’ll be pretty raw and real with you (if you really care to know) about how the struggle actually is.  I can’t always find much to say that is pretty and rosy and “nice” in the moment.  But, what I can always see is my Savior holding me close.  And, that little glimmer of a beautiful Savior is enough for me to say with hope that there IS beauty in the struggle.

“God holds us in the untamed moments.”  - Ann Voskamp

Meal

Even if you feel like your day has nothing redeeming from it, you can feel good about this meal.  It’s full of superfoods, gluten free, dairy free, and is great as leftovers!  Oh, and despite being so healthy, it actually has a lot of great flavor too!

Chicken Quinoa Stir Fry:  http://www.food.com/recipe/chicken-sweet-potato-and-quinoa-stir-fry-474446

Music

Just as diamonds form from the pressure put on an uglier piece of carbon, so we too, are being formed into something beautiful.

“under this pressure under this weight

we are diamonds taking shape”

-Coldplay  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfYqCGcUxNs

Prayer

Father, show us our true identity, whether that be in times of struggle or times or joy.  Show us the good things in our life that we may be placing too much importance upon.  Show us the things in our life, good as they may be, that are getting in between  our relationship with you.  May we be truly satisfied in YOU, plus nothing else.

Time

“When life is overwhelming, call me to Sabbath moments.” - Pat Bergen

Sometimes social media is not the best thing for us when life is hard.  Everyone else’s life looks so much better than ours, right?  Consider taking a sabbatical from social media when you’re in a  season of struggle, allowing you to focus on what God has for you right now, rather than coveting the lives of others.

Contact:

Valerie Morris

valerie.l.morris@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerie.l.morris

Instagram:  @morrisacres

Professionally tinterocreative.com

Beauty in the Struggle - Wk 1

Beauty In Struggle

Kendra Stewart

WORD:

Struggle is the root of human existence…too gloomy? The unprejudiced destruction of struggle is an experience that is felt by all. It’s also the basis of every good story. I had a college professor who once said that a story without struggle and redemption is not a very good one.

I'm a sucker for a good story, whether it's an epic adventure, a mystery or romance (it’s why the Scriptures are so beautiful to me). As a kid, I used to imagine how my story would be written when it was all over. I tried to imagine what my career would be, where I'd live, what my love story would be. Similar to many, I wanted a great love story and admittedly, there were times that my imaginings were an unrealistic mixture of Disney, Alias, and Psych, but even at a young age was simply a desire to live on mission for God while having the blessing of sharing it with another.

As you have probably guessed, that has not been my story. I'm what you'd call chronically single, not because I've never been asked, but often by choice. There are many fantastic things about singleness—my seminary thesis was on singleness in the church and I’m a big advocate for singleness—but for many who are single (me included), it is a struggle. Being single, especially a single woman, in church is painful and the older one gets the more painful it can become. “You don't have a family?”, “just be thankful, marriage is hard” ”you're not ready otherwise God would give you the desires of your heart” are just a few gems I've been told. But in December 2015, I met someone! The story of how we met was like a good romance movie and I thought that God had put him in my life as an answer to 30+ years of prayer and faithful waiting.

I was wrong.

Rather than a beautiful love story, it turned out to be a year of subtle mental abuse that left me twisted and scarred. It has been a year since he walked out of my life and it has been a journey that has felt like stepping on shards of glass, bleeding through the memories, desires, shame and shattered dreams.

So where's the beauty? Where's the beauty in any form of struggle? For many, it get's lost in the excruciating pain, and that’s ok! But what I've come to realize this year is that the beauty comes from the struggle itself. It’s not pretty; it’s one of the ugliest parts of life, yet there’s a beauty that grows in us as we go through struggle, it morphs and grows as we journey through the pain, if we let it. We don’t have to “accept” struggle with a smile, even if we believe that God uses it for good, the pain often leaves you short of breath and it’s ok to detest it. BUT let God use it. Through it all God is calling us forth from the struggle, our “souls 'begin to enter' the dark night when God draws them forth...to the end that, after passing through it, they may arrive at the state of the perfect, which is that Divine union of the soul with God” (St John of the Cross - Dark Night of the Soul). He is purifying us, communing with us, chipping away the decay in order to let his image shine brighter through us, and that is a beautiful thing.

MEAL:

Mmmm….any food is a good option (unless it’s seafood, that’s never a good choice)! I’d say regardless of where you are at in the struggle, take time to unwind and enjoy something ridiculous. Invite a few friends over, eat pizza, ice cream and Cheetos and watch the Bachelor—or any other ludicrous show—while making fun of it the whole time. ENJOY THE MOMENT

PRAYER:

Abba, mercy please! I am unable to withstand the storm alone and I am in need of you grace. I may only see glimpses of beauty in the midst of this struggle, but help me to hold on to those glimpses as proof of your goodness and for hope in the future.  (Isaiah 43)

TIME:

I’m not one to journal; I find it obnoxiously redundant if done often. However, I’d encourage you to take actual notes every couple of months; bullet point, write a poem, write a narrative, whichever form suits you best. Cry while you write, scream and yell in anger while you write about the struggle and where you are in the midst of it. Write about the good and the bad of the struggle—the good is in there and you’d be surprised how the good list changes and grows over time.

MUSIC:

Colony House – Moving Forward

Beauty in the New - Wk 5

WORD:

I’ve been wrapping my mind around this topic for weeks and I keep circling around the idea of being “born again” - the essential belief that as soon as we repent of our sins we are made new in Christ. This is astounding, it’s dramatic, it’s purposeful, heck it’s glorious and like nothing else. We can’t recreate this experience and I am afraid that too often we have all forgotten what it means to rejoice in being new.

So what is it about beauty in the ‘new’ that is so important that I am writing about it? Is there a season in life where “new” is obvious and clear? I’m getting married soon - is that it? Is it moving to a new city  because I’ve done that twice in the past 18 months and while it’s definitely new I feel like there is more personal awareness in myself for it being a struggle to get adjusted. Is it parenthood? Is it getting a new job, new friendships, starting to learn a new hobby, New Year’s resolutions? By now I’m sure you all get the point - what makes us feel ‘new’? Because in my short experience nothing has completely felt ‘new’, only different. Rather than being made brand new in midst of life's transitions we change, we grow with ourselves, make our lives better, try new things with the goal that the new will somehow fix us.

I don’t mean for this all to be a downer. I don’t mean to minimize the excitement we all go through in life’s journey. I for one am excited for plenty that life has to offer - marriage, parenthood, designing my first building (since I’m an aspiring architect), but I can’t place all my hope in what the world offers as new in my life. That would be foolish and more so heartbreaking. Instead what I’ve been convinced we all need to hear is that there is only one true place to be made ‘new’ in this life and that is with Jesus.

Nothing profound there is what I’m wrestling with as I want to make a profound point. Jesus is the new, it’s plainly obvious, but does that really diminish how important of a fact that is?  As I confessed earlier though; I’ve lost what it felt like to be made new and if nothing else writing this has helped me see where I need to grow. These past two  years though I’ve been on a dramatic journey where at many points I have felt ‘new’. Whether is it was a releasing from sin, finding true joy in the presence of Christ, or experiencing a miracle I have felt a dramatic shift in my life that wasn’t by my doing.

How do I know what is ‘new’ in my life? Is there a season of ‘new’ or is it a one time experience? I don’t think it’s any of that and I think I fall into this trap of believing it is. The enemy is tricky, and isn’t it sly of him to have us believe it’s a one time ordeal. To keep me in a place of guilt and shame rather than confident and full of my God-given potential. What I find in the words of Paul encourages me to see differently. He pleas with us to see our own glory given to us by our Father. He begs us to not to fall for the traps of the enemy, but clothe ourselves with the armor of God. Paul challenges us to not see ourselves as flawed sinful humans, but heirs with Christ who sin holds no power. Maybe beauty in the new isn’t just during a period of transition, but is something far greater to behold. Maybe it is a call to our daily lives not to be stagnant with our seasons, but seek to find our favor of being made new, heirs with Christ, everyday.

MUSIC:

We all know this one, but c’mon it never gets old.

In Christ Alone by Kings Kaleidescope

PRAYER:

Jesus you are refreshing, you are joy, you are my hope. You have made me new today, you will make me new tomorrow. Thank you for not keeping me down, but rather raising me up higher than I knew I could ever could ever go. May I keep that present in all my doings today and may the newness that I receive from you transpire to better love and make ‘new’ in the relationships and interactions I have today. To you be the Glory.

TIME:

To be made new is to feel refreshed and alive! Most of us feel alive when we are outside enjoying God’s infinite creation. I just heard a statistic that the average American spends 93% of their typical week indoors. That translates to only 11 hours a week outside or even far less. I'm very guilty of this so let's change that this week… go for a walk and pray, mediate, and allow Christ to fill your spirit.

MEAL:

Can you ever go wrong with pizza? NO, you can’t. Here’s a killer picture of Barbeque Chicken Pizza to make your mouth water. (May I be so bold to recommend additional toppings of pineapple and jalapeños)

By: Josh Tindall

Beauty in the New - Wk 4

WORD:

I wholeheartedly believe that sometimes the Lord calls us into new places.  New relationships.  New seasons. And I think that as much as we may want to believe that we love change, I believe that very few of us that can truthfully admit that going into a season of complete “newness” doesn’t scare us, even if just a little.  Because of our sin nature that often leads to difficulty in fully trusting the Lord, we don’t always approach newness with the excitement or peace that we should.  I know I’m guilty of this.

For example; during the summer of 2016, God did a crazy thing and opened a gigantic door to “newness” in my life, giving me the opportunity to spend a three-month summer working as a leader at a summer camp in the mountains, 1,700 miles away from home.  

To say this experience would be a new one for me is an understatement.  I had never done the kind of leadership work this job would require of me, I had never lived in the mountains miles from civilization, and I didn’t know a single person at this camp.  So when I say this was an opportunity for newness, I can’t help but emphasize just how dang NEW it was.  

And as needed as that opportunity was in my life at the time and as excited as I was to be able to live it out, I can’t say I went into it without any anxiety.  

But through that season of newness (which became one of the most blessed experiences I have ever been given), the Lord reminded me the importance of an incredibly valuable lesson: to fully, completely, utterly trust Him in the new.

Had I gone into that season of complete and utter newness without any reliance on Him at all, I would quickly have crashed and burned.  I would have doubted there was any beauty in my opportunity to serve in that place.  I would have let my own worries and anxieties consume me as I came to the realization of the true situation I had just committed to.

Though it was a daily struggle to completely trust Him with all that He was doing in my time living at that camp, I now see so much beauty that came from that initial choice to trust Him simply in accepting that new opportunity when it was first presented to me.  And through learning to trust Him more and more each day in that season of newness (though it wasn’t easy and still continues to be a daily challenge), He taught me more valuable lessons than I ever expected to learn, revealing to me more beauty than I ever could have dreamed of encountering.

So, that’s exactly it, I think - that His purposes into calling us into newness may not always be so much about what happens to us within it, but rather as His chance to see how we will react to this newness. How we will invite Him into it as we walk through it and how we will intentionally take steps to trust Him along the way.

So my push for you is this: don’t run from newness.  In fact, ask God for it, seek it out, pursue it. And when you find it, trust His guidance in it. And that He will bring beauty to even the situations that bring you the most anxiety because of the depth of the unknown they involve.  He will bring a beauty into the newness beyond your wildest dreams, if only you’ll lean into and trust Him with it. Hallelujah that we have a God we can fully trust in every season, especially in the new.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.”

MEAL: Tomato soup and grilled cheese – the ultimate comfort foods.

MUSIC: “Jesus I Come” by Elevation Worship.

PRAYER: Lord, we pray that You provide us with newness.  That you open doors we never imagined could be opened and provide us with opportunities we never thought we’d have a part in – and that when we approach this newness, that You give us the trust to lean on You, allowing You to guide our every step, action, thought, and word for Your glory and not our own.  Amen.

TIME: Listen to the quiet stirrings of the Spirit this week as it guides you; push yourself to step out of your comfort zone into all newness that this week brings, taking heart that the Lord has you in the palm of His hand and can be trusted with wherever He may be leading you, no matter how new or uncomfortable.

Writer Name: Jamie Galen

Contact: jamie.gee on Instagram, www.facebook.com/jamiegee123

Beauty in the New - Wk 3

WORD

I sat in a staff meeting with a long face. It was noticeable with my supervisors comforting tone.

“You’re not doing well are you?” she asked.

I wasn’t.

My wife and I had just marched our daughter to the front lines; of elementary school. During the walk we silently reminisced of sacred moments that we shared. The first smile that created parental tears of joy. The first giggle caught on phone and shared with all that would watch. Her first word; not perfect but perfected enough:

“Da-da”  

She said Daddy first! 

We drew closer to her class line and slowed to a stop.  She may not remember how tight we held her. We were clinging to moments we wanted to keep current.   All of the newness was overwhelming. We freed her to get in line and watched her single-file shuffle into this school building. She nervously looked back as we waved and blew kisses until she was swallowed by the shadows of the hallway.

We weren’t ok.

With having to let go of time and accept all things new that came with an older daughter. Even a kindergartner.

I sat in a staff meeting with a long face.

My supervisor consoled,

“I definitely remember that feeling. I’d suggest you and your wife getting used to saying, “Hello and Goodbye” a lot more often.”

This simple suggestion wrecked me for the better. That day I expressed the mess that I was on paper through writing a new poem:

Hello Goodbye

I’ve also grown to embrace the beauty in the new. As uncomfortable as they may be, through the new joys, memories, heartbreaks, and moments we have a God that exists in them all. I’ve learned to experience the joy going through as many hellos and goodbyes as possible. It makes our relationship strong, rich, and that much more valuable. The same is with Christ. It makes our relationship with our creator strong, rich, and much more valuable!

Now,  with three daughters, living in a new community, daughters in a new school, and my family plugging in to a new church…I’ve accepted the fact that new doesn’t have to equal negative. The “good ol’ days” can be today…everyday as a matter of fact.

The Psalmist reminds us,

“This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.” Although it may be easier than it sounds. May we find a sort of excitement in the things that we have to let go? May we find a sense of awe in the things we are yet to experience? Our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Let us rest assured He is with us on this wild journey as He uncovers the beauty in all things new!

(Excerpt , “Hello Goodbye” Poem)

Hello

1, 2, 3

Beautiful Britton baby girls

Goodbye free time

Goodbye sleep

Goodbye hairline

Hello God

What now?

Stages!

And more stages

Of life

Goodbye yesterdays

I remember you

Hello tomorrow

I welcome you

Hello Future

I'm fascinated by what you’re holding.

Hello Life

Your days are numbered

So I'm making you count.

Hello Death

One day you'll tag me

But you can't have me

When I say

Goodbye last breath

It's only goodbye here

Goodbye grief

Goodbye pain

Goodbye tears

Then it's

Hello

God

Hello heaven

Hello forever,

I'm Home!

MUSIC

When I seem to be getting overtaken by too much newness in my life I pause and reflect on God’s faithfulness throughout my life. Housefires’ “Faithfulness” is a song I can play and really just chill in God’s presence and soak in the reality of his faithfulness.

MEAL

I could eat breakfast for every stinking meal of the day. French toast is a great way to start the day. Want to embrace something new and crazy? How about Fruity Pebble French toast? If not that, there are 50+ French toast recipes…including grilled cheese French toast! 

http://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/g2973/50-most-delish-french-toasts/?slide=6

PRAYER

Weather thing s are comfortable and old or uncomfortably new, I encourage you with this prayer:

God, this is the day that you have made. Help me to find joy in it. Help me to say hello to the beauty and newness of the things that come my way. Help me to say goodbye and rejoice in what you’ve done for me in the past. Above all, help me to find You in this day and rejoice in whatever becomes of it.

TIME

During the next week when you’re doing your regular routine, find something you can create new. Maybe it’s the layout of your room, office, route you take to work, place you sit at church. Maybe it’s as simple as changing the location of your chair in a common place that you share meals. Whatever you do, embrace the new perspective, the new angle, the things often unnoticed because of the sameness of yesterday.

Christopher Britton | @gr8poetry | gr8br1tton@me.com

Beauty in the New - Wk 2

Word

Is there anything better than a new pair of shoes being laced up for the first time? Better than a new journal and pen? Better than the first view of a new place you’re visiting? The first bite of a delicious new dessert you’re trying? I submit that there is not.

There is something exciting and inspiring in the new that your brain craves.

That is, until the new is too much, too big, or too soon.

Within six months I’d had a lot of “new” thrown my way. I left a job, home, friends, and life I’d spent nearly my whole life cultivating. Within a week I lived in a new state, had a new apartment, no job, new church, and, shortly thereafter, a new husband, new job, new home, new family, and new name.

Don’t get me wrong, there was a lot of joy and excitement around getting married and starting a new life together with my husband, Nate. But, despite all the awesome, I often found myself kicking, screaming, and generally fretting through the whole process. I was overwhelmed and worried, fearing my loss of identity. I created to-do lists one million miles long trying to gain some control over all the uncertainty in my new.

And that’s the crux of beauty in the new. No matter whether you’re “new” is good, bad, hard, sad, or outrageously awesome, we have to submit to the fact that God brought us into the new and that He has a good plan for us in it. God’s purpose in new things is to challenge control. Is it in ourselves? To control, manage, achieve, or fix ourselves or our situations? Or do we embrace the new, trusting and believing, that God is in control of this new moment?

Each of these new moments are God’s way of presenting us an opportunity to grow. Grow closer to Him, grow in His image, grow into the best next version of ourselves. Sometimes the new is awesome and exciting. Sometimes the new is overwhelming and hard. But no matter what, God is in the new and is walking alongside of you through it.

Music

Beautiful Things by Gungor

I love the lyric that just simply says “you make me new, you are making me new”. It reminds me that God is the one who brings me into newness. And that it’s an ongoing and continuous process.

Meal

I’ve really never been much of a chef, mostly sticking to macaroni and frozen pizza. But the slew of kitchen gadgets that came as gifts for our wedding have inspired me to start taking small steps in the kitchen. The first thing I really attempted with my new found culinary exploration was minestrone soup. Familiar because I’m Italian but new because, well, I was making the whole frickin’ soup. Find a new recipe that feels new/slightly overwhelming but within reach and go for it. If trying out a new soup sounds like the ticket, check out the link below.

http://www.familysavvy.com/minestrone-soup-minutes-instant-pot/

Prayer

Dear God.

This is a new day, a new moment, a new breathe, that you have given to me.

Help me see the beauty, the opportunity, the goodness in the new. In the times it is joyful and refreshing. But also when the new feels too big or too much.

Thank you for making me new, through your son’s death and every day since.

Time
Often times it can be easy to see the new around us. Yet it is a whole different experience to see the common around you in a new way. This week, try to find common thoughts or activities that you’ve become used to doing and try to see or do them in a new way. You may also try connecting with God in a new way this week. Doesn’t have to be mind blowingly different or creative, just look for God in a way/place/activity that you haven’t before.

Instagram: nmwaybrant

Beauty in the New - Wk 1

Word:

If I had to rank my favorite holidays in order, New Years Eve might not even make the list. Too often I have found myself in a melancholy mood, mulling over the past twelve months, wishing for more and better and easier to be found within them. Too often I have found myself in what feels like the same place I was at the start.

Which is why, at the beginning of last year, I turned to Isaiah 43:19—

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

and rivers in the desert.

Wilderness and desert were apt descriptions of this season.  I was desperate for the new, desperate to see this verse lived out in my life, but feared the unknown of what it might look like. Even so, I invited God into the process, asking for my eyes to be opened to all the work that He was doing.

One year later, I am still reeling from the change He brought. It was less of a rushing wave and more of a constant wind steadily that eroded all the walls I had built around my heart. I didn’t even know I created defenses that now blocked the change I desperately desired. In the process of tearing these down, I learned three key truths to help me fully embrace the new.

First, I had to accept the fact that new can be hard—hard enough that I often choose to stay in my present condition, however damaging, because it is a familiar sort of pain. I knew it wasn’t where I wanted to be, but I had known what to expect. I learned that new can be hard, and I learned that I could move through it.

The Lord also taught me that space had to be created in order to usher in the new. I had to bid farewell to the old—old habits, thought patterns, and identities. This process took time, and I sought counseling to further accelerate the growth. I wish I could say this part was quick and easy, but I can say with 100% certainty that it was worth every moment.

Finally, I gained a deeper understanding of who God is, and how He moves in moments like these. More specifically, I learned that God is in the business of the New. Though we may not be of Israel, He provided a new covenant that we all could take part in. Though we sin time and time again, He provides new mercies every morning. Though the world may be broken and the future may seem bleak, He declares He will make all things new. This is the Gospel, a promise of renewal and transformation, as true today as it was two thousand years ago.

In living out this truth, there is always an opportunity to turn a new page, start a new chapter. We can let go of all fear of the unknown. With our Loving Father walking with us every step of the way, we can boldly move forward, already celebrating all that He will accomplish through whatever new adventures await.

Meal:

I find baking to be a total confidence boost, because it can be pretty easy to make something delicious! These Macadamia and Coconut Chocolate Chip cookies are sure to put you in a good mood, ready to embrace whatever the new may bring!

• 2 cups + 2 tablespoons flour

• 1/2 teaspoon salt

• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda

• 3/4 cups melted butter

• 1 cup sugar

• 1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed

• 2 eggs

• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

• 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

• 1 cup sweetened flaked coconut

• 1 cup macadamia nuts, quartered

Whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt, and set aside. Cream the butter and sugars, then beat in the eggs and vanilla until smooth. Mix in the dry ingredients, then stir in the chocolate chips, coconut, and macadamia nuts. Wrap and chill in fridge for at least one hour. Remove and preheat oven to 325. Scoop onto parchment lined cookie sheet and bake for 10-12 minutes or until they are just starting to brown. Allow ten minutes to cool.

Music:

“White Owl” (https://goo.gl/aQa1JX) by Josh Garrels seamlessly blends both melancholy and hope, painting a picture of facing down the road ahead.

Prayer:

Father, I thank you for your love, ever present.

Open my eyes to see the infinite ways You display it.

I thank you for your provision, ever present.

Grow my trust with every new step I take.

I thank you for your Spirit, ever present.

Guide my steps as I venture on, keeping my focus on you.

Time:

Carve out some time to get alone, away from all the noise and distraction, and reflect on whether there is enough space in your life for God to bring something new. Have you been clinging to the old? What has been hindering you from the new? Invite the Lord to provide insight and action.

Beauty in Tragedy - Wk 4

WORD

As a kid, I was obsessed with romantic tragedy. Even though I was very young, I had such big ideas about what life and love should be like, and big, unfelt yet felt emotions about things. Mainly things that didn’t involve me directly, but they were important to me nonetheless.

Anne and Gilbert. Romeo & Juliet (the play and Baz Luhrmann's film interpretation). Buffy and Angel. Sweet Valley High. Meet Joe Black. The Giver. Poetry. Politics. Family.

This was all very internal and the last item on the list - family - is I guess where it starts to get serious. My family caused me pain as a child. It didn’t fit the mold for what I idealized families should be. My family wasn’t together. My family contained messy individuals. My family fought aggressively. I didn’t respect all of the adults in my family due to unappealing, non-role model behavior I had witnessed in the crucial early years of my development. Worst of all, I didn’t trust my family. That one really hurt.

It turns out that not trusting in family can lead to pretty much not trusting anything, or at least not until a very long trial period has passed. Those who passed through the trial period became friends and I am so lucky to have friends that are “the family you choose”- just like that wonderful saying!

As an adult, my family was torn apart once again by divorce and I endured a long period of grief, trusting God, crying with friends, acting out, and healing. When I was in the midst of it, my heart was utterly broken and I was dejected. The beautiful part of this, however, is when I’ve been at my lowest, I’ve been at  my closest to God. When I felt closest to God,  my heart didn’t just break for the things that applied to me, but it broke when I thought about the injustice, the war and violence, the great needs,  and the loneliness of the greater world around me that I could only begin to fathom. Tragedy was SO MUCH BIGGER than I could even grasp. It hurt my heart that people have to experience anguish and despair untold.

It astonished me how easily I could access this well while in the throes of my own personal tragedy.

While I mourned the loss of my parent’s marriage, I found a closeness with God - one I’ve been chasing ever since.

Fictional tragedy can be delightful, even when it guts you. It’s just a story. Our tragic moments are so much more complex than our stories or our wild imaginations and reality can break us down. But there is beauty in tragedy. It’s raw. It’s real. It’s unavoidable. It cuts deep. It’s unpredictable. It rips us apart. Eventually though, time, relationships, and God - if you let Him - provide the healing and lessons learned to move on and rebuild.

If I had the choice to experience the personal tragedies from throughout my life, would I? Honestly, no. But do I regret the color and wisdom and compassion and experience those scars have left me with? Fortunately, no.

Tragedy experienced authentically is like a season of rain after a lengthy drought. Barren land is watered and produces long after the water has been absorbed deep into the land. It takes time to see the growth. When we do, it’s beautiful.

MEAL

When experiencing tragedy, I typically don’t have an appetite. So, I’d like to invite you to take on a moment of fasting rather than eating. It could be one meal or a whole day. Pray for the tragedies you’re aware of - your own, that of your friends’, your church, or even the world. Invite a friend to join you. You don’t have to be together physically to fast and there can be strength of spirit when doing it alongside a confidant.

MUSIC

“Jesus Paid it All”, by Kristian Stanfill, is a song I love for its beauty and heart-wrench. It represents well the tragedy of the human spirit and its redemption through Christ.

PRAYER

God, please grant me the supernatural peace to endure through the known despair of my circumstances and the unknown that’s ahead. Help me to cling to you, to seek your beauty, and to emit your light even though everything around me feels dark. Help me trust in you.

In your son’s holy name, Amen

TIME

Take a moment to step outside of yourself and feel the tragedy that someone or some population might be facing. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and human. Challenge yourself to be open about your tragedies to inspire bravery in others and open yourself up to supporting others through their tragedies.

Beauty in Tragedy - Wk 3

Word:

Bre died on a Wednesday evening.

Over 18 months, cancer had made its presence unapologetically known. Clinical trials, surgeries, treatments, and countless doctor’s visits occupied a piece of her time and her mind and her heart. She was exhausted, and at times, discouraged and beaten down. But that was the one of best pieces of Bre--she never let it consume her. She was sick, but she was going to sing and smile and ask you about how your day was going. Because she genuinely cared. She really wanted to know.

2016 dwindled down, and Bre’s stays in the hospital got longer and longer. And Bre became sicker and sicker. If we wanted to be brave, my best friends and I could talk about the logistics and the treatments, and if we didn’t want to be brave, we’d cry and hug and shake our heads in complete and utter confusion over the fact that our best friend in the world was going to succumb to this disease.

How? Why?  None of it made any sense.

And if I’m being honest, it still doesn’t make sense to me. The deep cut of Bre’s death bleeds violently from my heart every single day.

Bre’s services came and went, and after a long two days of tears and hugs and prayers. Our old group of friends from high school decided that the best way to honor Bre’s memory would be to spend the night together. We gathered that Saturday evening, and when I say gathered, I mean gathered. We played music and sang and drank wine and laughed loudly and talked softly and caught up on where our lives had taken us over the past ten years.

We patched up old wounds from years prior and buried hatchets that were dull enough anyway. We watched old videos from our high school days and embraced the thick fog of nostalgia filling up the rooms of the house.

2 AM came and went, yet we all still remained. No one wanted to leave. No one could bear to walk out the door and stop this future treasured memory. No one wanted it to be a memory yet. The pieces of all our broken hearts meshed and shuffled and melted together that night into a beautiful mosaic. That night is a work of art.  

And now, all we can do was thank Bre for being the artist.

Music:

Downtown / Majical Cloudz

Meal:

One of my favorite dishes to make for my husband was this ridiculous recipe for baked macaroni and cheese. When I say “ridiculous,” I mean two-sticks-of-butter-and-three- packages-of-cheese ridiculous. Horrible for your arteries, but healing for the soul. Comfort food at its finest. It was a regular dinner at our home. And then 2016 happened...

2016 left bruises and scars on my little family’s heart. My husband and I spent most of this year clawing our way out of pain and loss and grief. The joy I had once taken in carefully constructing the perfect meal slowly deflated from my heart with each unfortunate blow the year suckerpunched us with.

When we were invited to celebrate Thanksgiving with a few friends, I was met with the dilemma to either go to the store and buy some pre-made dessert or step up to the challenge, walk back into my kitchen, and make something.

The minute my fingers touched the buttons on the oven and the wooden spoon and the oven mitts, the minute I smelled the bubbling cheese--I knew joy again.

Recipe: http://www.abeautifulmess.com/2012/12/emmas-favorite-baked-macaroni-1.html

Prayer:

Father,

Protect those who suffer loss. Provide comfort for those now missing pieces of their soul. Promise the safety and comfort of eternity for those who are with you in the Kingdom. Make the hearts broken from tragedy into your beautiful works of art.

In your name, Amen.

Time:

Call your sister back. Don’t cancel plans with your old coworker to get lunch because you’re tired. Kiss your spouse. Hug your parents. Tell those close to you that you love them. The cliched notion that life is short may be just that--a cliche, but oh my, is it the heartbreaking truth? Tend to your relationships like a delicate bed of flowers. Remember the sorrows and pains and wounds of life and take them with you on your journeys ahead. They will teach you to know joy.

Contact: @kmgarrity on Instagram / www.vinylandpaper.com

Beauty in Tragedy - Wk 2

Beauty in  Tragedy

Hope can be wonderful.

Hope can be confusing.

Hope can be non-existent.

If we’re honest with ourselves, hope is one of the more manic feelings we experience in our lives. Hope can set us free and then shackle us in the same 15 minute span. I think of sports fans having an irresistible hope for their team to win and having that hope squashed in a matter of seconds.

But what about hope in the midst of hardship?  I’m not talking about the “hardship” of your team not making the playoffs, or your fantasy team ruining your life but the hardships of loss. Of brokenness. Of death. Of tragedy.

I remember in my Ordination exam for the Christian Reformed Church, a question was posed about what we would do as a Pastor if we had a family in the congregation who lost the father to a car crash suddenly, in the middle of the night.

I sat there thinking while one of my colleagues gave a wonderful, Scripture-filled response, articulated beautifully, but still seemed to be lacking something.

Then an answer came to me: Dunkin Donuts.

“In that situation, I would live in my Dunkin Donuts theology.” I said. My response was met with blank stares.

“And that is?”

“Well, I would drive to wherever the family was and on the way I would stop at Dunkin Donuts, pick up some coffee donuts and extra napkins. I would show up, drink coffee with them, cry with them, listen to their stories, their anger, and their questions. I wouldn’t offer much by way of words but instead be present in their tragedy.”

I believe if Jesus is going to be present in tragedy, we need to be as well. Presence in tragedy does not mean having the answers, opening the Bible, or even prayer. Being present in tragedy is about sitting in a place, a hard and unknown place, while grasping to the smallest piece of hope we can.

As a Pastor, it is not my job to make tragedy better, but to point people to the One who can be their hope. That is the person of Jesus Christ. Then, when the individual is ready, hope is always there ready to wrap them up and give them perspective, life, energy, and movement. It is in that place, I don’t hold to my words, but to the words of “ Lord’s Day 1”, of the Heidelberg Catechism:

1.

Q.

What is your only comfort

in life and death?

A.

That I am not my own, 1

but belong with body and soul,

both in life and in death, 2

to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. 3

He has fully paid for all my sins

with his precious blood, 4

and has set me free

from all the power of the devil. 5

He also preserves me in such a way 6

that without the will of my heavenly Father

not a hair can fall from my head; 7

indeed, all things must work together

for my salvation. 8

Therefore, by his Holy Spirit

he also assures me

of eternal life 9

and makes me heartily willing and ready

from now on to live for him

MUSIC –

Every New Day – Five Iron Frenzy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCbtS8hHFA0

It is Well (With my soul)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHe_qmo3gX4

MEAL –

When tragedy comes in life, appetite is usually one of the first things to go, so I would keep a meal light and easy. It might sounds strange but the food needs to be something that can be reheated (once, twice, maybe more) as sitting down for a complete meal is unlikely. Along with being reheated, the meal should also be able to handle being “picked at” when the appetite is not there, something that can be moved around, poked, and moved back by a fork. Noodles are good for this! Whether you do cheese, butter and pepper, or a light marinara; noodles can be an editable stress ball for your soul!

PRAYER –

Lord, though I might not think you are here because of what I’m going through, I trust you. I trust your plan over my plan. I trust your pain over my pain. You died for this moment and I will do my best to abide in you. I may get mad at you, I may even curse you. But you see me. You know me. You knew this moment would be. Thank you for the hope I know I have in you. Maybe not today, not tomorrow or next week, but I know you’re there.

Beauty in Tragedy - Wk 1

Have you ever slipped and landed flat on your back, Charlie Brown-meets-football style? There’s that fraction of a second while you’re in the air, when you search for something firm to grab.

“And now abide these three – faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (I Corinthians 13:13)

Faith, hope, and love. Nothing challenges these three like tragedy, and yet nothing can strengthen them like tragedy does.

As a form of ancient Greek or Shakespearean drama, all tragedies had a main character, who may or may not be likeable, and who experienced a significant downfall. As this story played out on stage, the audience is kept at arm’s length, a safe place to sympathize or judge. While we’ve traded in stages for live-streams, tragedy still intrudes fairly regularly, usually at a safe distance.

Until it’s not someone else, way over there.  Until it hits close to home.

Tragedy just doesn’t fit our theory of how the world works. Tragic events are undeserved, uncontrollable, unexplainable. When we filter a tragedy through our assumptions about ourselves and the world around us, we can only think...NO.

No, it doesn’t make sense. All the clichés and well-meaning attempts to smooth over the rough edges, especially those that imply the will of God, offer more frustration than comfort.

There’s never a good explanation because the tragic moments test our faith, not our reason. We discover where our faith is placed: in a world that we thought was fair and predictable. In a God who is merciful and sovereign. In a world that can break us. In a God who heals.

With all due respect to the poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning, I’m not sure hope is a “thing with feathers”. I think when tragedy strikes, we need a hope with talons. An iron grip that can hold on to the smallest shred, the faintest glimmer of hope – hope that our faith in a good God is not in vain.

Our faith, and our hope, is in a God who is love itself, who is our shelter and strength. Our explanations won’t heal what’s broken; only the mystery of a loving God that permeates every living thing can sustain us when we are surrounded by death.

So where is the beauty in the ugliest, most broken parts of life? I don’t think we find it. I think we make it. Tragedy can call forth the best in us; not in a surface way, quick to gloss over and hide the pain. In these moments, the best in us comes from the deepest reserves of our soul, much like the taproot of a tree – the central, largest root. From that strongest root the others branch out and are sustained, even during times of drought.

When the temptation is to run away or watch from afar, run toward. Whether it’s a story on cable news or news from a dear friend, lean into it. Get your hands dirty. Be moved to tears. Be moved to act.

Meal and Time

Hospices, ICU waiting rooms, and hospitals are home to people walking through a personal tragedy. Pay a visit or make a call to the nurse manager or unit administrator and ask what visitors could use. Grab some friends and bring a care package.

Suggestions: Card games, small puzzles, books, current magazines, travel size toiletries, lip balm, hand lotion, hand sanitizer or wet wipes (unscented – waiting room air tends to be warm and dry); nail files and clippers, granola bars and other healthy snacks, tea, juice, water bottles, and powdered drink mixes for bottled water, cough drops, OTC pain relievers, and cortisone cream, facial tissues; pens, thank-you cards, labels, small notebooks, colored pencils and coloring books, Zip-loc® or brown paper bags, eye masks (for family members sleeping by their loved one’s side), comfy, colorful socks, and chocolate. Always chocolate.

If you want to be everyone’s hero – invest in a few cell phone chargers and leave them with the staff. And don’t forget the kids. Ask the staff member if small toys or kids games are needed, too. Arrange to bring lunch or dinner, like soup, sandwiches, a veggie tray, and fresh fruit.

If your hospitals are overrun with care packages, local crisis centers and homeless shelters could also use these things.

Music:

“Thy Will”, by Hillary Scott.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dp4WC_YZAuw

Prayer

Abba, Father, Daddy…

Sometimes the hardest thing for us to admit is that we don’t know why bad things happen; the hardest thing for us to do is to approach a good and powerful God with our anger, or to draw near to those who can show us how You love. Likewise, we admit that seeing Your children in pain makes us uncomfortable – we feel helpless and brokenhearted.

Father, draw close to the brokenhearted, as You promised you do. Give your church words to comfort them, but more so, give us the strength to be silent, to be present – to be joyful in hope, patient in suffering, faithful in prayer, and rooted in Love.

Amen.

Beauty in the Valley - Wk 5

WORD

Sometimes there is a man for his time and place. An unlikely hero charged with settling the moral order straight. Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski, who’s only ID is a Ralph’s supermarket card and who spends his time with Vietnam Veteran and personal security specialist Walter Sobchak, is that man in the Coen brothers film The Big Lebowski. The Dude has his rug stolen in a case of mistaken identity. The other Jeffrey Lebowski, the wealthy, entitled, rigid and rational one, was the intended victim. The entire movie is about The Dude trying to get his rug back. It really tied the room together.

The dude…his dudeness… el duderino…if you're not into the whole brevity thing, is an aging hippy antihero who changed my life.

I grew up on Walter Sobchak Christianity. Walter Sobchak does not roll(bowl)  on Shabbos. He doesn’t work, he doesn’t drive a car, he doesn’t handle money, he doesn’t turn on the oven, and he for sure doesn’t roll. Saturday, Shabbos, is the Jewish day of rest and Walter takes the rules of his faith as a line in the sand that shall not be crossed.  During a league bowling game Walter pulls a gun out on an opponent because his foot may have slipped over the line. He then states, “This is not ‘nam...there are rules.”  

Walter represents the faith of my past. Rigid, obsessed with rules and quick to name wrongs. The faith that proclaimed that Jesus died so we would avoid punishment.

The Dude is different. He is unfailingly kind and adaptable. He’s beaten by thugs on two occasions, verbally assaulted by the real Big Lebowski, attacked by marmot wielding nihilists in his own bathtub, menaced by a Corvette owner with a crowbar, involved in three car accidents, doped into a stupor by a laced White Russian, hit in the head by a Malibu police chiefs coffee mug, and thrown out of a taxicab for protesting the playing of the Eagles. Still, he keeps his peaceful easy feeling and seeks restoration over retribution, tranquility over anger, presence over self-centeredness and love over hate. The Dude abides, loving his neighbor as himself.

The Dude represents the faith I have found. The faith where Jesus died for us because he loves us, and allows us to be present in that love every moment so that we may show it to others.  The Dude loves Walter, even though he is somewhat of a maniac. The Dude is the man for his place and time and he is the man for me.

At some point, most of us find ourselves in a valley of the faith we’ve grown up with , or without, and the faith we see God calling us to. We must embrace both, because Christianity is big, beautiful and full of diversity.

Though they find themselves on different sides of the valley, The Dude and Walter are best of friends. I don’t relate totally with the faith of my youth, but I need it. Like The Dude, I am still best friends with Walter. My faith has become like a well made White Russian: A lot of The Dude (vodka) a touch of Walter (Kaluha) mixed together by the Holy Spirit (creamer).

I need to remain in the tension of my valley of faith; between what I practiced in my youth and what I practice now...it really ties my life together.

MEAL

Breakfast for dinner! When you’re in the valley you look back on your faith, your day and your life. You look to where is started and use that to inform the future. So let’s eat for dinner what we normally eat for breakfast! Serve up some cereal, bacon or pancakes and enjoy.

MUSIC

I love vinyl records and make a record cleaner (instagram.com/rockettsrecordcleaner) so I would have to encourage you to listen to an entire album and not just one song. Like the journey of our faith an album often brings us on a journey with many valleys.

I recommend Joan Shelley’s album, “Over and Even.” As you listen to the whole album pay special attention to “Not Over By Half.” It’s beautiful.

PRAYER

The Serenity Prayer:

God, give me grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

TIME

Abide. Be present. Reflect on the past and imagine the future.

Paint your valley for those you are with. Look at your past. What did your faith look like?

Look at your present. What does it look like now?

Look to the future. How is your faith being challenged?

Be open, vulnerable and understanding with your group.

Josh Rockett

joshrockett@gmail.com       

instagram.com/rockettsrecordcleaner

Beauty in the Valley - Wk 4

Word

To most, the valley seems to be a dark and depressing place, devoid of hope and life; but, there’s something about looking back on where we’ve been that gives some insight into where we’re going and who we are now because of how those dark times have shaped us. Those valleys, those dark tunnels, those murky forests and rivers that call me back, make me thirst to live once more in the grace of some of the people that I met in those dark places, as they exude so much light in the midst of overwhelming darkness.

One morning during my usual shift as a janitor, I was startled by an unusual greeting from a man who would become my guide, traveling with me through those dark nights; a sharp wolf whistle from the darkest corner off the back room alerted me to the presence of one who was busy mopping sweat from his brow with a stack of tidily folded ragged brown paper towels.  It was the sort of salute shared between friends and in it, my loneliness found comfort and amusement.  He gestured me in and told me to sit and talk with him for a while. Barely a word escaped our lips.  It was a fellowship which is only found between familiar souls.

Through mere presence, we formed a bond more akin to the kind shared by family than between co-workers. He fed me when I was hungry, demanding that, “We’re brothers now and brothers eat from the same bowl.” We shared tales of our past, though his were filled with a lot more action and suspense, making them much more interesting than mine. Most times, we sat under flickering lights eating food and laughing.

I was often left wondering how someone who has had so many things taken away from him could have so much to give. That is, until it fell on my head: This man had spent his entire life feeling the way I did for that one single summer. This wasn’t a mere an act of kindness, or “paying it forward”. This was an act of grace, modeled in the very manner of Christ. My guide knew well the taste of grace and wanted to share it with me.

My friend and guide navigates the darkness with fear and reverence, ever tending to his flock from the edges of the room. Because of this experience, where others see turmoil, I’ve come to appreciate the valley as a place of refining beauty where we find ourselves in Christ; where we are given new eyes to see what no one else can see; given ears to hear things that no one else can hear.  As my guide was for me, and as Christ was before all others, I strive to be one of those whom I now know as “shadow walkers”, ever guiding the forgotten flock toward the light.  

There is no need to tread through the black of night alone, as there are others around us to show us the way.   We walk not by sight, but through faith and camaraderie, knowing that we each have found some beauty deep within the valley.
 

Meal

White rice, Mexican hot sauce, beans, and warm tortillas. For me, this is a meal to commemorate my times of poverty, when I had nothing else to eat, when that little bit of sustenance tasted so good. It’s funny, still to this day when I am hungry, I eat this meal. It reminds me of my friend.

Music

Artist:Thrice. Track: Kings Upon the Main. Listen to this song while you’re alone and at minute 3:53 in the track blast the music. Reflect on your travels and focus on the goodness of Christ. Focus on how he brought or is still bringing you through that valley. Live in his light, grace, and peace.

Prayer

Father, I ask that you give me the eyes and ears to see and hear things in the shadows so that others may be brought out into your light. Help me to walk with the troubled soul as you walk even still with mine. Jesus, help me to remember Psalm 23, Even though I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil, for you are with me. - Psalm 23.

Time

Many times, as we walk through the valley, we try and pass through as quickly as possible. I urge you to pray for the peace to slow your gate so as to not pass by anyone still huddled in the darkness. Do you have those places where you can look to find them? Try and think of someone that needs conversation, a bit of food, and camaraderie.

Instagram:theandersonco

Website: www.subleveldrumcompany.com

Beauty in the Valley - Wk 3

Word

Take a moment to visualize a radio. Maybe it’s an old one from the 30s or 40s, you know, something FDR would have delivered one of his famous fireside chats from, or maybe it’s more modern, with a couple of rabbit ear antennae sticking out of it. Regardless of what it looks like though, all radios have antennae that pick up a broadcasted signal and it’s realized as sound from the speaker. Pretty cool when you actually think about it.

Now imagine that you live in a quaint town that is located in a valley surrounded by mountains. You tuck in for an evening to listen. The fireplace is lit and your favorite beverage is in hand. You power up the radio in your living room in anticipation of hearing some of your favorite music or a program that’s on. But, all you hear the radio pick up is static; something just isn’t quite right. You try moving the antennae to get a clearer signal, but you continually encounter static because of the valley that you reside in. Eventually you give up, thinking your favorite program is just not getting through to you.

Sometimes it can feel like that with God, can’t it? We’ve created the space, set the scene, and are ready to listen, but all we’re getting is static. We start to think that He’s not even broadcasting anymore. We try our best to tune in, but our doubts, depression, confusion, stress, and the day to day of life, become the mountains which block His signal from getting to our antennae. After repeated moments of static, we eventually find ourselves in a valley of disconnection from His presence. The valleys of our life can feel lonely and meaningless as we continually try to get a clearer signal, but instead only hear the subtle sound of static.

You are never alone though with the Holy Spirit living inside of you, and scripture tells us “…[the Spirit] will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.” (John 16:13 ESV). Static still means that you are receiving something, and that is the beautiful thing to consider: your antennae, your focus, needs only to be adjusted towards Him in order for His signal to become clear again.

When I find myself in a valley, it’s usually because my focus has gotten away from the Father, and I find it best to take a moment to pause, breathe deeply, and pray; asking Him for clarity. Ask God to identify what is drawing your attention away from Him. If even that prayer is full of static, start by considering your place in the universe. Vast and expansive, but full. Full of beauty, wonder, light, and the goodness of God. Pray to Jesus as openly and raw as you can, as if you were talking to a friend. He invites you to redirect your focus towards him: “come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NIV). He knows your burdens and He’s broadcasting love and peace this very moment to you so that you feel His presence clearer than ever before. We just need to redirect our focus towards him.

Valleys will come and go in our faith, but how we navigate them is how we get back to the mountaintop, where we feel closest to God. I’ve never audibly heard the voice of God, and you may not either, but redirecting our focus will awaken an awareness of His presence that is all around us and will tune us into the Holy Spirit living inside of us. He will fill you with hope, love, and grace. Begin every day not with the stress of the day, but by focusing on God with open ears and an open heart. Each day will be a step back up the mountain and closer to heaven.

Meal

Comfort food. For me that’s Shepherd’s Pie or Mac & Cheese. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/shepherds-pie-recipe2.html

Music

“Vapor” by Gungor/The Liturgists (The entire “Vapor” liturgy by the Liturgists is excellent as well and leads you through a time of spoken word mediation, song, and prayer focused on listening)

Prayer

Father God, creator of all, let me breathe deep of your love and grace and listen to you beyond the noise of life.

Then listen. Create space for transcendence.

Time

Go for a walk in the woods. Walk around a museum. Put on your favorite album and listen. Grab coffee with a friend and be truly present. Go wherever you can see God most clearly away from the noise of life. Bring a journal and pen and write out what and how you’ve been feeling. Then just pray.

Beauty in the Valley - Wk 2

WORD:

A valley is both deep and wide.  It is an erosion of the elements.  A low depression amidst the highlands.  Uplands of hills or mountains surround it, and in between there is life.  Carved by the waters, a valley has movement.  It can be a place of protection, a shelter from the winds.

There are so many ways that valleys represent our journey through life.  There have been so many seasons that I have referenced the hills and valleys that have run through my own life.

Valleys remind me that the depths of my life are still being shaped.  That there is always a steady stream ahead.  Sometimes these waters rush towards us, and sometimes they just trickle in.  Moving us forward and washing us clean.  Sometimes, it seems, we have to search for the waters, and they seem beyond an endless and slow bend of this journey we are within.  

I remember the day when these waters felt out of reach.  When the valley of my life was so dark that those waters seemed to be also out of sight, and maybe even out of mind.  

My valley grew deep so fast.  In a moment, with the sound of my mother’s scream, the ground around me gave way, and I was somewhere between the tall walls of the world around me.  I often refer to the year my brother passed away as my year of darkness, because I can’t remember anything from that time other than the memory of the physical darkness that surrounded me.  It felt like I was moving in slow motion, not caring what was ahead, and not sure if I’d ever even get there to find out.  

Have you ever come home from a really loud concert, and the sounds of the night are still ringing in your head, even though the space around you is silent?  There was a hum of the sound of my brothers life for that entire year after his life ended, making it hard to hear (I mean really hear) anything else coming in.  

I remember the day, a year in, that I decided I could not find my way out.  That the darkness would never end.  That I had lost hope that those waters of life would ever come from around that bend.  

This was the first time I spoke His name.  And I spoke it out loud.

“Jesus!?   I can’t do this any more!  I have no hope.  Jesus, help me…”

I fell back on my bed.

A light.  An undeniable, physical, light filled the space around me.  I would not have known this light if I had not known the depths of the darkness that I had been in.  

When God walks alongside us we see the hills and valleys of our life in a new light.  His Spirit hums within the highs and lows of the lands of His creation.  A hum, that does not deafen you, but that washes and moves you.  His spirit awakens the world around.  He is the water that carves the valleys within us.  He gives us life.  He is the beauty in the Valley.

MEAL:

Choose whatever meals you want today, but as your drink for today, choose water.  Consider the blessing and life that water gives you.  Each time you drink water today, thank God quietly in your heart.  For He is within!

MUSIC:

How sweetly fitting that my friends Hannah and Austin wrote a song called Hills and Valleys

Artist: Flocks and the Lookout

Song: Hills and Valleys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E95P9eNKvVc

PRAYER:

Come alongside me Father.

Walk with me in the valley.

I am thankful for how you sustain me.

Help me to trust that you have prepared an endless stream ahead.

Help me to better hear the streams of your heaven await.

Help me to hear the hum of your Spirit within.

Shape me Lord.

I am yours in the high and low.

I love you Father.

I promise to love you by being a light to someone today.

Come alongside me O’ God.

Amen.

TIME:

Be present.  Whether you are in a hill or valley today, find a sacred and quiet space where you can tune into the hum.  The hum of His Spirit is within you,  it fills the space around you, no matter where you are!

Beauty in the Valley - Wk 1

Word:

My husband and I got married really young. Too young. I hadn’t even graduated from high school yet. We eloped and then didn’t tell anyone we were married until four years later! We had no clue what we had just jumped in to. Our family and friends were shocked and hurt when we finally told them. Hurting them is one of my biggest regrets.

When I think of walking through a valley, I think of my marriage. My marriage has been one of the hardest journeys of my life. When we first got married, I thought we would stay on that mountaintop for the most part. I knew we would argue and have problems sometimes, but then we would get right back up on that mountaintop. It hasn’t gone that way. Most of my marriage has been spent in the valleys. We are very different people in just about every way, and we both went into the relationship with a lot of brokenness. We have had to work really hard at our relationship, and ourselves. No other journey has challenged me and stretched me as much as my marriage has. No other journey has brought more tears, heartache, and struggle. We have often brought out the worst in each other. We have made many, many mistakes and at times, I thought our marriage might not make it. I’ve felt so hopeless that things will not change.

God often reminds me in those moments of how far we have come. He shows me the growth that’s happening, the blessings all around me, and what a gift my marriage truly is. I am thankful, because my marriage journey has deepened my relationship with God more than anything else. I have found that my hardest struggles end up being what brings me closest to God. My deepest valleys have produced the most growth. God is just as much in the valleys of life as he is on the mountaintops. His word promises that He will never leave us or forsake us. (Deut. 31:6). He sees, hears, and knows us. He pours out His blessings and grace in the valleys. God has blessed us with four beautiful children. This year my husband and I will celebrate nineteen years of marriage!

Time:

I am walking through a valley in my marriage right now. Writing this has been difficult for me. I’ve been leaning on some trusted friends who have been faithfully praying for us and we have been seeking help. Some places in the valley are deeper and darker than others. In those places especially I need reminding of what God has already done and how far we have come. Sometimes I need the help of others to see the beauty in the valley. For me the beauty in the valley is in the blessings along the journey, and the growth that it produces. I’ve learned that God really is with us through all the ups and downs of life. Every valley my husband and I have walked through has made us stronger and has deepened our love for one another. We learn more about each other, and ourselves. My marriage has been a mirror for me to recognize the things I need to change, and the things that God is refining in me. Growth is rarely easy, but always beautiful.

Prayer:

Abba, all things are possible for You. You are a loving, caring Father, and You are always with me. I pray for more revelation of Your love and Your goodness. Make me more aware of Your presence in every season of my life. When I walk through the valleys of life, I pray Your perfect love would cast out every fear. Open my eyes to see Your blessings and the beauty all around me, even in the darkest places. Thank you, Lord, that You are continually at work in my life and Your plans for me are always good. Remind me of how far I have come and encourage me. Help me to keep walking and to keep trusting You. Your love never fails.

In Jesus’ name

Amen

Music:

“How Sweet the Sound” by Citizen Way.

I pray the words in this song minister and encourage your heart as much as they have in mine. Thank you Citizen Way for writing this song!

Meal:

My hubby’s Beef Stroganoff. I love it when he makes it! He makes it a little different every time so I can’t share an exact recipe, but here is one that is close to get you started:

Beauty in the Insignificant - Wk 4

WORD:

It was two in the morning and I sat there, as I had several times during the day (and night), feeding this baby, while my husband slept soundly beside me.

I was promised never ending sweet moments, a cosmic bond with my baby that would fill our time together with purpose, the culmination of a divine creative process.

But it’s just me. Sitting in the dark. Feeding a now sleeping baby. Alone.

This task is small, vulnerable, and without prestige. And in the dark, the condemnation starting pouring in, telling me that what I did was mundane and that it, and my part in it, insignificant.

At present, my days are filled with these moments. And when you weave these moments into days, and those days into months, and those months into some representation of my life’s accomplishments (because what’s two a.m. without a little melodrama?), doesn’t that really mean that my life itself is unimportant, that I myself am, at least mostly, insignificant or replaceable? And if that’s the case, WHAT GOOD AM I?!

And while I basked (rather, I wallowed) in the repetitive and never ending nature of this particular task, I asked God that very question, “God, what good am I, really, when anyone could feed this kid, anyone could change his diapers, anyone could do what I’m doing now? Not even the baby is riveted by what’s happening right now, and he’s the one who instigated it.”

And after letting me wallow a little more, He answered me.

“Anyone could, but you are, and what you are doing is sustaining this child.”

And in that moment of exhaustion and self-pity, I realized that the insignificant events in life are really the ones that sustain us. The countless loads of laundry my husband does, the daily cooking and cleaning we do, the jobs we work, the tasks we take on, sustains the bodies of our family and friends.

The never-ending games of “Watch this, Mommy!”, the quick hugs when someone comes home tired and a little battered by the day, the random text or call to a friend for no reason other than you are thinking of them, sustains the hearts of our loved ones.

Our significant lives are built from a few watershed moments and millions of trivial ones. And it’s those beautiful, sacred, trivial moments that sustain us everyday.

As I looked down at my infant in the faint light from the hallway, breathing in the sacred occasion that only we shared (even if one of us was mostly unconscious through it), I had an “a-ha” moment, as if God was giving me a knowing wink and a smile, that I myself am often the unconscious baby in God’s arms, that there are even more countless moments that only He and I share, where He cares for me even in those times unimportant to anyone else, and makes me significant by sustaining me with His very self.

“Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.” Psalm 54:4

MEAL:

Peanut Butter and Something -

PB&J was the go-to running out the door meal when I was growing up. It’s quick and easy, no recipe, and you barely need to pay attention when making it.

Make one for you and make one for someone else. Take your time and make this insignificant action significant by considering how it will sustain and comfort you and them. It’s like a hug for the tummy!

MUSIC:

“Jesus Loves Me”

(If you’re rolling your eyes, sing the song twice. ;)

PRAYER:

God, I give you my moments,

my days,

my months,

my years.

The mundane, the tedious, and the insignificant are all Yours.

You sustain me in these moments.

You make them sacred.

Remind me that I am sacred to You.

TIME:

We all have that chore or job that we hate. It seems so tedious, boring and/or unimportant. Next time that the opportunity arises to do it, take that task on and list everyone that it will bless, care for, provide for and sustain. Take time to meditate on every step or action necessary to complete the task. Make it a sacred moment.

Beauty in the Insignificant - Wk 3

WORD:

Can we start by acknowledging the irony of me writing this? I’ve been putting it off for weeks. I’m deleting everything I write by the paragraph. I feel completely uninspired to write anything meaningful. With the exception of maybe my fiancé, mom and dad, I’m not sure anyone wants to read this.

I used to love writing. Then I bought into the lie that nobody cared what I wrote -that nothing I wrote had any value. So I stopped.

Why did I agree to write this?  The invitation felt as if somebody believed in me.

But as I sat down to write it, every idea that popped in my head felt cliché and the hope that someone believed my writing was meaningful crumbled immediately.

All the ideas I had seemed insignificant. I felt insignificant.

But then it occurred to me – God often has something to say to these hypercritical statements I make about myself. While sometimes difficult to believe, at my core, I know Christ whispers to me that I have immense value - each of us has immense value. Not because of any major stamp we’ll make in history – in 100 years, we’ll all likely be forgotten. Instead, we hold such value because the Lord has declared it so. Though one of countless humans created by the Creator, we were made with intentionality, purpose and value.

I’m not the only thing I have decided is lacking significance. There’s a lot I have deemed insignificant over the years. Currently, I have decided my new job fits into this category. There have been countless days as I wash the dishes, pick up toys left behind by the children, wash, fold, and put away laundry, sweep floors, and toil over what in the world I’m going to make them for dinner, that I wonder what purpose this possibly holds. Yes, it is helpful, but it could not possibly hold any lasting value. What good am I doing for the kingdom of God as I’m changing yet another load of laundry?

My old job was in a ministry I truly adored. I had the privilege of being part of an organization that I completely bought into – their philosophy was incredible, my coworkers were some of the most wonderful humans I’ll ever meet, and I absolutely fell in love with the kids I worked with. It was clear I had been granted the immense privilege to join with Christ in a sliver of the wonderful work he continues to do in Boys Ranch, Texas. What I did had purpose. I could feel it in the very depths of my soul.

Back to my current job as a nanny, my days were no longer centered on prayer meetings and hours spent building relationships. In place of prayer, I have household chores. In place of building deep, Christ-centered relationships, I spend hours alone in an empty house. Despite trying to fight these feelings, what I do began to feel very insignificant. I couldn’t help but wonder - in every dish I washed, every shirt I folded, every menial chore - where is the lasting value?

Months into my nannying job, I still ask this question often, but I’m beginning to question if these redundant, insignificant moments are actually far more significant than I could ever imagine. What if this less-than-glamorous piece of my story is more than simply a refining season?

What if these insignificant times are about encountering a significant God? The God who commands the seas is not only with us in the significant times in our lives, but Christ, Emmanuel, is with us in even the most insignificant moments. The Lord looks at these moments that I continually declare meaningless, a waste of time, and he deems them worthy. He is with us not only in our most joyous moments or only in those of deepest despair – he is with us in the most mundane, seemingly inconsequential moments. And if nothing else breathes life and beauty into these moments, the presence of a holy God suddenly makes the most insignificant moments sacred.

I pray Christ would give me the grace to see past the meaningless so that my eyes would be opened to the Holy of Holies around me.

MEAL:

Lemon garlic chicken zoodles: delicious, health conscious, AND easy to make – the perfect meal! http://www.mastercook.com/app/recipe/WebRecipeDetails?recipeId=5859097

MUSIC:

“Flood Waters” by Josh Garrels – this song speaks to the massive, unimaginable love of our Lord, that is the essence of his ever-present nature.

PRAYER:

When you find yourself in the midst of an insignificant moment, pray these words to shed light on God's presence around you:

Where are you, Lord?

In this moment here, in this moment of insignificance, give me eyes to see where you are in the midst of it.

Reveal more of your beauty breathed into this very moment.

And give me the grace to rest in this beauty, that the Lord almighty is ever-present in the most insignificant of times.

TIME:

What aspects of your life have you deemed insignificant? How can you leave room for God in those moments? And as you recognize the Lord’s presence with you in this insignificance, how does Christ transform it from insignificant to beautiful?