To be honest… I don’t know.
Those words are scary to admit. There’s that saying that what we don’t know can’t hurt us, but wouldn’t you rather just know? I would! Whether it’s how my boss feels about my performance at work, why my friend is busy tonight, where my keys are, or what’s going to happen next on my favorite TV show, I want answers. And when it comes to more significant things like my future, I’ll do whatever I can to plan ahead and avoid the unknown.
Recently, that’s been impossible for me. These days, I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know where God and I are heading. I’m stuck in this in-between world, certain change is coming around the corner, but I’m not at all sure what that change will look like.
It’s like I’m on a mountain ridge in heavy fog. I want to move forward and take the next step but I can’t see where I’ll be when I do. Any action seems risky. The rocks under my feet are not as stable as I wish they were. The view around me not as clear as I’d hoped.
At times like this, when I’m living in the unknown, I find I can easily get paralyzed. Instead of trusting that God has a good plan, I’m tempted to stubbornly sit down and wait for the fog to lift. Getting overwhelmed by not knowing all the details can make me lose sight of what I do know.
When I actually think about it, even in the unclear circumstances I face in life, I have already been given all the clarity I need. I’m not on the mountain alone; I have an expert guide with me who doesn’t merely know the path, but controls even the fog on our journey. I know that He is good. That He loves me. That He promises He has the best plan for me, one of hope and future.
I know these things because He’s told me and because He’s proven over and over again that they’re true. We’ve been together on mountain ridges before and it’s been worth stepping out in faith every single time.
So, to be honest… I don’t know.
Lately, when people have asked me what I’m going to do next, or where I’m going in the future, that’s my answer. It’s scary, but I’m still moving forward and following God in faith. The beauty of the unknown is that it pushes me to cling to what I do know.
When I’m in the midst of a lot of unknowns, I am grateful for the things I do know. One of those things is this healthy meal that makes me smile every time I eat it, especially when I cook and eat it with friends.
I’ve been playing this song on repeat recently as a needed reminder of what I do know. I’m so grateful to be able to hold onto these truths while on the mountain ridge.
“This We Know” by Vertical Worship
You Who Knows Everything,
I admit that I often don’t know what I wish I knew. Thank you God that while I face the unknown, you are with me and can see clearly when I can’t. Your promises keep me moving forward and your plan gives me hope. Help me to step out in bold faith even in the fog. Guide me and give me wisdom.
One thing I’ve found helpful recently is taking time with a candle, a warm drink, and a notebook to jot down some of the truths I know and how I’ve already seen God guide me through unknowns in the past. Dwelling on what I know somehow puts what I don’t know into perspective and is good motivation to expect God to lead me down the best paths. I’ve also talked about those things with others. Getting to share about how I’ve witnessed God at work in my life is always time well spent and hearing about what God is doing in the lives of those around me is super encouraging when facing unknowns.
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